Seeing Things As They Are

An interesting term is set forth in Ether chapter 12. Moroni uses the term "plain humility" to describe how the Lord spoke with him face to face. So is there a difference between plain humility and elaborate humility? To read the whole context of the discussion between the Lord and Moroni helps me better understand what may be meant by this use of the term.

First - the verbiage used earlier in the conversation by the Lord does not come across as overly humble. It is fairly harsh in some instances - "Fools mock, but they shall mourn . . .". Yet this is plain humility. It is very direct in some places and may even sound as if the Lord understands that He knows things that we don't. (How know-it-all-ish) - "Men come unto me and I will show them their weakness." Yet this is plain humility. Shouldn't someone who is perfectly humble be less focused on our weaknesses and more on their own? Of course Christ doesn't have any weaknesses - so the question becomes how can you be perfect and humble? My dad had a song for this - the lyrics went something like this: "O Lord its hard to be humble and perfect in every way!" Or perhaps the word humble is wildly misunderstood and to be plainly humble is very different then what most people seem to view it as.

So lets cross reference the word plain found in the above referenced passage. When you participate in that activity you find that the cross references take you two instances in the scriptures where plainness refers to truth. Simple truth. Truth that could not be misconstrued.

It would appear the Lord spoke plainly, without the intent to offend or hurt, but with the intent to teach truth so that it could not be misconstrued. Elder Uchtdorf mentioned in his most recent conference talk that pride (which is the opposite of humility) would seek to bring down or destroy someone else. So the Lord, when speaking with Moroni, spoke plainly with no malice, but harshly according to the truth. Humility and truth are very closely tied because Humility relies on truth in order to be accurate.

The Lord needed to be plain. He wanted to tell Moroni how things are or how they really will be, to the point that Moroni could not misconstrue His message or His words. People who are humble recognize their weaknesses and in fact he commended Moroni earlier in the conversation for recognizing his weakness in writing. He commended him because Moroni saw things for what they were - he saw the truth.

Moroni continued, in humility, to apparently boast of being "mighty in faith". The Lord didn't seem to have a problem with that. Why not - that isn't very humble. Someone with the gall to openly declare that they are mighty? However brash those words may seem, it would appear that it also fell within the realm of humility because it was also true. And it really obviously was. Humility may be nothing more then seeing ourselves as we really are.

The savior answered Moses - "I am that I am." What a wonderful statement. Some of my favorite statements of the savior are His I am statements. "I am the way, the truth, and the life . . . " "I am the light and life of the world." "I am the first and the last." "I am your advocate with the father." "Art thou the Christ, the son of the blessed? - I am." Our Great God and His Son have never been bashful to say who they were. Knowing what we are and who we are is a characteristic we must posses. We must know the truth of what we are. We must have the humility of knowing ourselves for what we truly are.

I love the account of the people of King Benjamin upon hearing his famous sermon upon the tower. The scriptures say that they viewed themselves in their own carnal state. They were only able to make changes in their lives when they were able to see, in the depths of humility, what they plainly were. Once they did see themselves in their true state - they were able to make glorious changes in their lives. One of the changes was to no longer have any desire to do evil, but to do good continually.

There is a real power that can come over our lives when we are able to be humble enough to see ourselves as we are. That power is manifest in the Lord's ability to help us make the changes we need to make to be more like Him.

I have had many opportunities in recent months to see myself as I am. It isn't always pleasant. It also isn't always easy to change. But I am grateful to have the knowledge of what I am and who I want to be. I now know what I need to seek and what I need to change. It reminds me of a Michael Martin Murphy song that demonstrates the cycle of learning. It states (to the best of my memory) that the "higher you climb - the more that you see - the more that you see - the more that you know - the more that you know - the more that you yearn - the more that you yearn - the higher you climb."

I hope that I can gain enough humility that I can know more and grow more. My weaknesses may one day be strengths. My strengths are real and my weakness are real and humility means knowing about both.

Who's in charge here?!

There have been 4 major instances, or groupings of instances, where it is painfully obvious to us who is control - and it ain't us. There have been other instances to be sure - but these four instances have been of a higher significance and have left me not doubting.

The first was when we were living in Colorado and we had a plethora of dilemmas that hit us at one time. We were expecting our newest baby, Kristi was going to quit working, tax time was coming, and we owned a Condo and a house because we thought we would have sold the condo be then. All these expenses were coming due at the same time (Kade even came a month early to insure that all of these things happened simultaneously) and we were living off of a $12.00/hour - 40 hour per week budget. I remember thinking as a young husband and soon to be first time dad that I was not cut out for either job. I remember feeling that "there was no way we were getting out of this one." It was so impossible in my mind that my only resort was to pray as hard as I ever had (funny - that is all I should have done to begin with and that is probably what I was being taught.). We both prayed and low and behold if things didn't turn our spectacularly. We had our baby boy and we were able to pay for him with a surprise tax return instead of a bill. We also were able to finally sell our condo to reduce our monthly expenses to the house only. Kristi was able to be the stay at home mom - which was a huge thing for us. What a huge bunch of blessings to come tumbling down upon us.

The next experience didn't have the number of obstacles or the excitement of our first one - but it was a huge blessing none the less. We had to make a decision about what to do after I graduated. I still had no obvious plan following graduation. I needed to stall and I decided to get more schooling. At the time I convinced myself that I wanted to be a professor. Looking back on it I can still say that I would love to be a professor but have zero desire to show the patience it would take to get there. That is too long and slow of a process for me. All along it was the professorship I wanted and the schooling it would take to get me there filled me with dread. But I believed in the old saying - "Fake it till you make it!" I believe that perhaps the Lord allowed me to fool myself in order to get me to the right place. Because when we left Colorado to go to Idaho we knew it was the right thing to do. We just thought it was right because that is what I needed to do to be a professor. Which leads me to number 3 . . .

Around Thanksgiving time of our first year in Idaho I had one of my most spiritual experience of my life. It was literally a life changing experience because my life has not been the same since. I was going to school full time and working full time. I saw my children and my wife very little of the time. However, we were making things work and we were doing very well. Kristi was still at home with the wee ones and I was making good grades and making good progress in school and work. It was towards the end of November that I first had strong impressions that I should not go back to school the following semester. I had already registered and had been planning to go but I felt that I shouldn't. I resisted these early promptings because I knew that I had to for my family's sake. I had no other alternative. But the urge would not go away and it wasn't 3-4 days further that I absolutely knew that the Lord had other plans for me. So I quite school immediately after my finals in the first week of December. That same week I was called in by my Stake President and asked if I would accept a calling to be the Elder's Quorum President. At work I was made a full-time Sales Representative. There was no way that I would have been able to fulfill my duties in Elder's Quorum, school, and work. The Lord intervened and to this day I have absolute confidence that he was in charge during that week of my life.

The fourth time that I have been absolutely sure that we have been guided by the hand of God is now. Over the past 3 months - the Lord has taken over. In August we suddenly felt we should put the house on the market. This did not coincide with our financial goals or plans. We had other things worked out - but we went ahead and within just a couple of days had our house on the market. During those couple of days we made some phone calls. One was to a mortgage lender to ask him if we could get a loan if we were to sell our house. He said that we absolutely could by October or November. We thought that sounded perfect as we could rent Jim and Arelene's place if we had to. But first we had to sell our house. We put it up at a horrible time. The market has been slow for everyone so we thought it would take some time to sell anyway. We showed our home over 10 times in the next 2 weeks. That is a ton of action for any home during these times. We had an offer by the end of all these showings and we had closed by Aug. 23rd, which was all of 3 or so weeks after we put it up.

On the day we accepted the offer on our house we found out from the mortgage guy that we would actually not be able to buy another home in a couple of months. He had made a mistake and it was actually going to be a couple of years before we could buy a home. Needless to say we were deeply frustrated but we knew that the Lord was in charge. We figured we would have to rent for a few years but that isn't the worst thing in the world. We couldn't see any other way around it. That is until Todd got us in touch with a builder he knew. He said we could look into building and that might be a long-term solution. The key was "would the builder finance?" It turns out he does. We are now on our way to building a home that we have designed ourselves. We are building on a plot that is beautiful and we both know that is where the Lord wants us.

We don't know why the Lord wants us there - but He has never been wrong yet. We have been through this enough times to know what it is like when the Lord takes over the wheel for a little while. What is happening right now is another instance where I know he is in charge and man am I glad that he is.

Believe it or not - He has always done better for me then I would have done for myself. What I am doing now for my profession could not be better for me as a person. I love it. I would never have thought I could enjoy work like I do now. I never would have thought to be in a position to build a home that will suit our family so well for the goals that we have. As a matter of fact, I have spent most of my married life trying to temper Kristi's expectations of what is realistic and what is appropriate to hope for. Heavenly Father has taught us that he has much higher hopes for us then we have for ourselves. He knows us and will guide us if we let Him. I add my testimony of that to all the many other testimonies that have been shared by others throughout the generations. I count on Him - I am sure that He guides and directs us to become our best possible selves.